You are Not Good

“Doug, you are not a good man. You don’t do right. You are a failure.

…and I have never seen you more beautiful. I love you.”

-Jesus (through one of His people).

I don’t have words for this yet, except to say that I have said too many words, and too many things I haven’t paid for, and they pale in comparison to the sweet comfort of hearing an honest assessment of me collide with an honest statement of love.

Expect more confessional type posting here soon. If you really need to believe I’m a good person, this would be a good post to stop reading. Because I really need to acknowledge that I’m not. Fair warning.

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    • Hannah
    • September 13th, 2010

    Yay doug has joined the redeemed 🙂 I love you! I tell u there is no fear like the fear I feel when I sin and I think that its gonna keep me from god. When I feel myself sliding away from my savior, from my only friend, when I know that I’m not good enough and never will be- hopelessness. And then he comes and saves me. For no reason he says I love u. He tells I’m beautiful when I tell him I have stretch marks. He tells ne I will be chased after when I tell him I have slept w too many men. He tells me he was there when I thought I was all alone. Everyday I am scared I will make the wrong choice and I will not be good enough for god so I work all day long. But I am grateful for the days when he reminds me that he called me to him and saved me when I was laying on the couch, strung out and lonely with not a godly act in my life.

    • Doug
    • September 14th, 2010

    That’s beautiful, Hannah. “For no reason He says I love you…”

    …losing the things I’ve used to leverage God into relationship with me, the reasons I’ve given Him…acknowledging that there really is no reason for Him to love me. So scary…thanks for speaking truth into that fear today.

    Glad, so glad you’re hearing His voice speak the truth to you. It is truth, and I can see it. But better than me seeing it is Jesus saying it to you. You are redeemed and beautiful and whole, because you are what He has made you, not what your actions would have.

    And I am learning. Learning that when He found me, I was just as lost. I’ve worked so hard to be as “good” as I thought I was when He first found me…and I never was! Grace found me when I was dirty, and it stays with me now…while I’m dirty.

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