I have now reached the height of arrogance.

I haven’t been able to blog in awhile, so I thought I should offer something by way of explanation. Having read a ton of blogs, I know the correct way to apologize for not blogging: in the most self-aggrandizing way possible. I need to slyly suggest that  A) there are a lot of readers out there, and B) all these readers have been languishing in a scorching desert, utterly devoid of the cool springs that are my posts. Here’s how I think it will look:

I will say things like, “Dear readers, (all 2 of you) I know it’s been awhile since I last posted, but…”

In this way, I hope to humorously suggest a certain humility about the size of my readership, while actually comforting myself that I have tons of readers.

“…there are times in a young man’s life when questions must be answered, and he must answer them alone.”

I‘ll cleverly neglect to mention that what I mean by that is “My professors said I couldn’t use Wikipedia on my midterms, so I had to study.”

“I’m really sorry about that.”

Again, the whole premise of my apology is that I’m hurting you by not blogging. I=important to you. Got it? Good.

“But, I’m looking forward to getting back to blogging soon. See y’all on the flip side!”

That is so everyone will still check my blog again, and won’t forget me, because that would make me feel sad.

All that to say, I’ll be back to blogging soon.

You’re welcome.

  1. Fabulous! Bleeding with honesty! I love it:) I should probably do the same

  2. Nice.

    • Jonny Bananas
    • March 22nd, 2010

    well spoken douglas

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